Clear Boundaries Allow For Energy + Flow
If friends, clients, or family cross your boundaries, I’m 99 percent certain that on some level you’ve allowed it. Nothing to be ashamed of, but at the end of day, you’re creating your reality.
When you get clear on what your boundaries actually are and start reinforcing them, you'll emerge into a whole new frequency.
To begin with, communicating your boundaries might feel uncomfortable. This is completely normal and only because you're stepping out of your 'safe' and familiar comfort zone. It’s not always easy to break free from your old stories and conditioning and you may need some clearing sessions to support you with this, however, the more you claim your needs, your space and your boundaries, the easier it becomes and the more empowered you'll feel.
“If friends, clients, or family cross your boundaries, I’m 99 percent certain that on some level you’ve allowed it. Nothing to be ashamed of, but at the end of day, you’re creating your reality.”
Start letting those close to you know what your needs are. No one will know, unless you tell them— calmly and effectively (read my blog on effective communication here
That way people are given the opportunity to understand where you’re at and why you might be saying no to them, without taking it personally. If we don’t speak our truth and don’t set clear boundaries, this can easily result in self-loathing or downward spiralling. Don’t let people or situations take your power away. Take it back by honouring what feels true for you at the time and express yourself authentically. That way you can keep moving forward in life and walking in integrity and alignment, which keeps you energised, focused and receptive.
Remember, the most important part here is that you do it in a calm and non-blaming manner. If you’re taking self-responsibility and are not projecting anything onto anyone, usually people find it very easy to accept a “no” or a setback. There is no need for defensiveness; on the contrary, they are enabled with understanding and can find and even show compassion.
Moreover, standing in your decisions, your boundaries, what you believe in and who you are with conviction, creates peace and trust in your listener too.
The response in the world is a completely different one when you’re questioning or doubting your own choices or what you’ve got to say. Even if there’s just a tiny seed of doubt in what you convey, people will sense it and respond to it with doubt, fear, trying to take control of the situation or general limitation.
This then doesn’t just affect the boundaries you communicate and whether people respect them or not, but also whether they take in and respect you for what you share in general.
When I chose to quit university and leave Germany, and I shared with someone that I was going to go back to Australia but wasn’t quite sure yet what I was going to do, they responded with a freaked out look on their face. “Oh my! What are you going to do???” and they started suggesting all sorts of stuff to me. I didn’t like that at all as I was actually feeling very excited about the possibility of not knowing yet. I didn’t want to be offered all sorts of “solutions” to something that I didn’t perceive as a problem. Hence, I reflected on the way I had conveyed my message and realised that I probably hadn’t shown how positive and nerve- wrackingly exciting I found the very fact that I didn’t KNOW yet. Coming from Germany, that was quite unheard of.
The next time I shared the same words with someone, I was consciously putting my actual feelings into it and said that I was excited. The response was completely different! They thought it was inspiring and said they were jealous and wished they could do so too! Of course, they could have, if they had made the choice to do so.
I received the same response from then on, unless it was a particularly fearful personality.
So yes, the way we bring across what we believe in and speak in general has a huge effect on the way the world receives us and the way we experience life. It determines everything really.
Of course, it doesn’t have to matter to you, and with the right clearings it won’t even bother you what people will say or how they will respond to you. However, in certain situations, such as when you announce big new ideas or decisions to the World or when you set boundaries and you step out of your comfort zone, it can sure help to know how to guide the outcome of people’s responses. So rather than wondering why people never seem to believe in you, doubt your decisions/abilities, push up against you, try to sway you, seem to ignore you or respond in judgmental ways, you take the first step by believing in and backing yourself. All else follows from there.
Are you ready to take the brakes off and emerge into a whole new frequency? Book a complimentary Heart to Heart Chat with me here.